Akatsuki Friday Night Football Party
by AkiraDawn
Summary: Akatsuki is haveing their annual football party to celebrate in upcoming football season! Too bad they dont' know much about football. Rated for language. R&R! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 Party Plans

Akatsuki Friday Night Football Party

Okay, ILoveInuyasha44 suggested the Detroit Lions and reikage-sama (sorry I abbreviated your PenName) suggested Green Bay Packers. Thanx for the teams! Okay everybody, thank you so much for reading about my Akatsuki mishaps I think you will enjoy this!

I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

First let's clarify for those who may not know: Detroit Lions, the NFL team for Detroit Michigan. Green Bay Packers, the NFL team for Green Bay Wisconsin. NFL (National Football League). Oh and when I say football, I don't mean soccer, I mean American Football.

Some background…

Every year when football season rolls around Akatsuki always has a first game party. It's strange really; Itachi and Deidara know NOTHING about football. Sasori and Kisame like football season because of the good sales at the grocery store on chips, soda and beer. Zetsu…well…he liked the football shaped chip bowl they had. Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi had never experienced an Akatsuki football party. Oh, and 'the leader's wife was a crazed die hard Packers fan. This year would get just as sloppy as all the past parties.

"Is Deidara in the bathroom singing Janet Jackson's "Escapade" again?" Kisame asked.

"Yep, and he's applying moisturizer and leave in conditioner, you know how he is about his shower routine, he'll come out here smelling like the fresh scent of clean and blonde hair will be swaying freely." Sasori said.

"Well, we need to start getting ready for the party tonight! We need to start cooking and designate who's going to do what." Sasori was always the ring leader of social events. Soon a very clean Deidara appeared and jobs could be handed out.

"Okay, Itachi you're going to go to the store with Deidara and you two are going to pick up the chicken wings, the beer, the chips, the soda, and the pizzas." Sasori said. Now, this was a huge responsibility to give to those two… "Kisame you and I are going to make the barbequed cocktail wieners, slice up the fruit plate, and run the sweeper in the living room. Hidan, you and Kakuzu are going to call and confirm who we've…wait…Itachi and Deidara have invited and see how many we are expecting. Tobi, you and Zetsu are going to get the tubs of ice for the beer, set out all of our party plates and cups and turn our kitchen into a football fan haven." Sasori was such the delgator.

"Wait, Deidara and I have some major cleaning to do in our bedroom today, we have to change the sheets, get all those clothes off our bamboo screen and fold them, run the sweeper and other stuff how can we go pick all that stuff up?" Itachi asked.

"Who changes their sheets for a football party?" Kisame wanted to know.

"We do!" Itachi insisted.

"Why do you have a bamboo screen in your bedroom?" Tobi asked.

"Tobi, Tobi, Tobi, you're find out soon enough." Sasori told him patting his back. "Oh and you'll also find out that not only do they have a bamboo screen, they overall got the best bedroom. You know…just…figure out a way to go pick the stuff up.

"Hey! Dana could pick up some things on her way over today, yeah." Deidara said. Itachi's heart nearly stopped. Yes, Dana was coming to the football party, only she was coming over early to be with her favorite brother. 


	2. Chapter 2 Fun with Fruit

"Come on Kisame let's you and I start slicing the fruit. People are going to start showing up at 6:30 tonight." Sasori and Kisame started digging through the fridge. Kisame had haphazardly piled a watermelon, a cantaloupe, bananas plums, grapes, cherries, oranges, kiwis, blueberries, strawberries, a honey dew, apples and pears into his arms and were taking them to the kitchen counter to have a slicing fest. Kisame loved to slice things.

"Hey Kisame, if you put that pile of fruit on your head, you'd be like one of those tropical ladies that wear the bright clothes and walk around saying 'yah mahn', yeah." Deidara couldn't see it but Kisame was glaring at him.

"Deidara, don't you have shit you're supposed to be doing?"

"You're no fun Kisame, you must have corn shoved up your ass and fruit piled up to your neck, yeah." Deidara said and he left to help Itachi in their room.

"Deidara, check it out, the new Hotel Collection sheets I got online. Touch them! 800 thread count combed Egyptian cotton…in slate gray." Itachi was thrilled.

"Ooooh, it is combed cotton, yeah. Wow Itachi I may just have to get in bed with you tonight, yeah." Deidara laughed preciously, he loved making comments like this. Itachi's eyes started burning, the rage pill wouldn't hold back what was about to happen.

"GET THE HELL ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BAMBOO DIVIDER! DON'T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU STUPID ASS! DO YOU HEAR ME? GOD! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD FUCKING DUMB ASS! Hey, will you come help me put this fitted sheet on?" Itachi screamed in his fit of rage. Of course, he always needed help with the fitted sheet.

"Hey morons! Quit screaming and get to the store!" Sasori yelled from the kitchen.

"Dannaaaaaa! We can't pick anything up until 4:30 and we're cleaning, yeah!" Deidara yelled back. And so Itachi and Deidara resumed their cleaning peacefully.

"Kakuzu, you're doing it wrong, really! You don't call people and say 'hey are you coming to the super cool Akatsuki football party tonight'!" Hidan rolled his eyes at Kakuzu.

"Oh whatever! At least I'm not saying stupid shit like, 'this is Hidan of Akatsuki and I'm calling to confirm your presence at our football party and may I wish you my holy blessing'. God, Hidan as if!" Kakuzu combated him.

"Shut-up! Seriously, you obviously don't have any phone skills, you would have made a shitty receptionist had you gotten that job you applied for before we joined Akatsuki!."

"Oh take that back! You pray before you do ANYTHING and you do your Jassin ritual stuff like ever 12 minutes." And their arguing continued until Kakuzu had to leave an answering machine message.

"Wow! Zetsu I'm so excited you and I get to fill the ice coolers together, that has got to be a pretty important job. I want to be the best Akatsuki there ever was and if it means helping you do this so we throw a great party tonight well then I can't wait and I really hope that we find all the ice we need and I'm just so excited that…" Zetsu cut Tobi off.

"Um Tobi, be glad we got ice, it's an easy job, but don't forget, we have to do a kitchen makeover and turn our place into a football loving paradise." Zetsu told him. Tobi glowed all over, we he glowed as much as a swirly faced guy could glow.

"Oh, I can't wait to work in the kitchen! Zetsu! We are going to have the best party kitchen ever! And you know what I watch the Home and Garden Network like all the time! I have some terrific sports themed decorating ideas. Hey! Maybe we could start now! Oh my! I should teach you hold to fold napkins into swans and…" Tobi continued to ramble happily as Zetsu tried his best to ignore him.

In the kitchen there were rinds of fruit flying all over the place as Kisame and Sasori sliced and diced the hell out of fruit. The next step would be to arrange it all cosmetically according to color on Sasori's fruit plates he picked out at Pottery Barn.

"Itachi, what are you wearing tonight, yeah?" Deidara asked putting the finishing touches on his side of the room.

"What turns Dana on the most, jeans, these nice fitting loose cotton pants which accent my hips, these Nike pants which I have to say my ass looks so good in these, or something else?" Itachi wanted to know. Deidara was not amused.

"You stay away from Dana, yeah. Dana is MY sister and my favorite girl in the whole world, yeah. You aren't going to break her heart, yeah!" Deidara argued.

"You're right! I'm not going to break her heart because I'm genuinely in to your sister and if you would let me make out with her you'd see that! Now tell me which pants to wear!" Itachi demanded. Deidara sighed.

"Wear jeans because I'm wearing my Nike pants tonight and that long sleeved shirt with the t-shirt over it and you can't have that look, yeah." Deidara told him. Itachi agreed that the jeans would be okay and the fitted Calvin Klein green V neck shirt would be perfect as well, Besides they had to look good when they went to the store…


	3. Chapter 3 The Weiner incident and Dana

"Okay, that's all the phone calls." Kakuzu said to Hidan.

"Really, how do Itachi and Deidara know all those girls anyway? I mean I've never had to call 10 girls before." Hidan said.

"Sasori! Where are the coolers and how many are me and Tobi supposed to fill?" Zetsu wanted to know. The apartment complex where Akatsuki now lived had an ice machine in the area around the pool and since the pool area was still open, they could just filly up the coolers downstairs.

"There's one cooler in Itachi and Deidara's room, there are two coolers in the utility room and there's one cooler in mine and Kisame's room." Sasori answered. Kisame had whipped out his giant shredding katana and now fruit was flying all over the place and landing neatly in color coordinated rows. It was time for Sasori to make his signature BBQ sauce while Kisame boiled the cocktail wieners. Zetsu and Tobi headed downstairs with he first cooler. However, Zetsu was ready to punch Tobi in the face from his incessant talking.

"You know Zetsu, I've never been to a party before. What are your parties like? I bet you guys have so much fun at your parties! Wow! An Akatsuki party and I get to be a part of it!" Tobi was beaming.

"Ah, Tobi you have much to learn about our parties. Sometimes we get a little wild at our parties, but we always have a great time." Zetsu told him as they filled the first cooler with ice. Once full, now they had to lug it back to their fabulous 4th floor corner haven and their apartment complex didn't have an elevator. They left the pool area and went to their flight of stairs which quite conveniently led from their corner apartment to the pool area. "Okay, Tobi here's what we're going to do. This is going to be a bitch to get up the stairs, so I'm going to pull and you're going to push." Tobi was thrilled with these instructions; it was his first task as an official Akatsuki. And so the pulling and pushing began, they only had to do this 3 more times.

"What is that? You smell amazing, seriously!" Hidan asked Deidara. He smelled like the sweet smell of tanning lotion at the beach.

"It's Coconut Cabana intense moisturizing lotion, yeah. Hey! You want some? It's in the bathroom, yeah!" Deidara said.

"Really, I would NEVER smell THAT good. But, I'll at least look at it." Hidan told him.

"Okay, we're leaving to pick up Dana and go to the store for all the stuff!" Itachi said. "Come Deidara, I'm driving." Secretly, Sasori wondered if they would ever make it back alive.

"Hey, listen to me! Don't get cans get bottles you hear me? Beer is so much better out of bottles and don't get that cheap crap!" Sasori yelled at them as Itachi and Deidara walked out the door.

"Hey! Sasori! The weiners! The little wieners! They're boiling over!" Kisame screamed at the sight of the cocktail wieners boiling over in his pot. While Sasori attempted to relieve this disaster, Tobi and Zetsu had returned with the first cooler full of ice.

"Good (wheeze, pant) job (wheeze) Tobi (pant). Man (wheeze), we (pant, wheeze) we kick ass (pant, wheeze, pant, pant)."

"Yeah Zetsu! Hey I have an idea! Let's prop the door open so it's easier once we get to the top of the stairs!" Tobi for some reason wasn't out of breath. Zetsu had to admit, Tobi was on his way to success in Akatsuki.

"Sasoriiiii! The wieners! Wieners everywhere!" Kisame screamed. Sasori had killed the heat to the stove and was scooping cocktail wieners off the stove and throwing them back into the pot. The situation was finally under control and Sasori resumed his position at the opposite burner where he was stirring his BBQ sauce.

"Wow Sasori! You're like the red head, part puppet, totally evil, weapon toting mom I never had!" Kisame hugged him.

"Eh, I do what I can…" Sasori continued stirring. Deidara and Itachi were sitting in the parking lot of Dana's apartment complex. Naturally, Itachi started fixing his hair for the 10th time, he had to look his best for Dana. And then, she appeared in the parking lot…

"DEIDARA, YEAH!"

"DANA, YEAH!" and then came the screaming. You'd think that hadn't seen each other in years.

"God! Do you two have to do that every time you see each other?"

"Yes!" Deidara hissed at Itachi as he bailed out of the infamous van that read AKTSUKI on the license tag to sweep Dana up off the ground.

"Oh my god! I like totally can't believe you guys are having this party tonight, yeah. It is going to be like soooo great, yeah." Dana said hugging her favorite brother. She climbed in the van.

"Hey, Dana you look really nice today." Itachi told her.  
"  
Oh my god, have you like had your pill today, yeah? Because you get really pissy when you haven't like taken your pill, yeah." Dana asked Itachi. He glared at first, but then told her he had indeed taken his rage pill. The party was getting closer and no one had yet even mentioned football… 


	4. Chapter 4 Let the Party Begin!

Hey everyone! Tomorrow is my first day of school and so life is gonna get a little busier for me. I'm not going to be able to update as quickly as I typically do but I'll do my best I promise.

"Sasori! Your BBQ sauce is delicious! Man! You have seriously got the spice combination nailed!" Kisame said sampling the BBQ sauce before placing the cocktail wieners in the sauce.

"Thanks, I picked up the recipe while I was still in the sand country." Sasori said as he began pulling plates and everything out for Zetsu and Tobi to work their magic. Tobi, being the interior design whiz that he proclaimed to be, certainly had many ideas for how to make the kitchen look fabulous and he would have to work quickly because guests and kickoff were 2 hours away.

"Zetsu! Let's alternate the colors of the plates so it's a festive football bash!" Tobi exclaimed. And so it was done, and that was just the beginning of Tobi's hip interior design ideas.

"Hi, we're here to pick up some chicken wings." Itachi told the woman working in the deli.

"What's the name?" she asked.

"Akatsuki." Itachi answered. However, there was a problem with the chocken wing order, when Kisame called the day before he didn't specify how many to make…

"Okay, sir we weren't sure how many chicken wings to fill your order with. How many wings are in his order?" Itachi looked at Deidara then at Dana, and the three of them were glancing at each other rapidly.

"How many is a lot, yeah?" Deidara asked Itachi.

"I don't know? A hundred?" he asked looking at Dana.

"That sounds good, yeah!" Dana answered. And so Itachi told the woman that they wanted a hundred chicken wings.

"Okay you two go get the beer and I'll take these to the van." Itachi told Deidara and Dana. So they went to the cold beer aisle,

"Deidara, how much are we supposed to get, yeah?" Dana asked.

"Well, Danna didn't say, he just said to get glass bottles, yeah. And god, there's so much to choose from, yeah!" Deidara felt a brain overload coming on.

"Oh my god! I know, yeah." Dana said, also feeling a brain overload creeping up. "Okay, Deidara I so have an idea, yeah! You and I like Corona, so let's get some Corona, yeah. Now we can get like 4 of the 24 packs of bottles but we so can't carry those, yeah. Oh! Now here's the best part: we'll put them in a shopping cart and we can stack other kinds of beer on top, yeah. Just in case that's not enough." Dana looked at her brother for approval.

"Dana! I so would have never thought of the cart thing, yeah. Oh, you are the smartest older sister ever, yeah!"

52 minutes, 1 decorated kitchen, 4 coolers of ice, 8 24 packs of beer, 100 chicken wings, 12 two-liter bottles of soda, 37 chip variety bags, and 7 pizzas later…

"Shit! Did you three get enough stuff?" Kisame asked, his eyes popping out of his head from the massive load of food Deidara, Dana and Itachi appeared with.

"Well, we wanted to be certain we had enough, yeah." Deidara said starting to rip open the beer boxers and help Zetsu place the bottles in the icy coolers. "Hey nice job with the kitchen Tobi, yeah!" Deidara said…and then the lightbulb lit up in Deidara's brain…"Oh my god! Tobi, you have to meet my sister, yeah!" Deidara dropped the beer bottles on top of Zetsu and ran to get his Dana. "Dana! Meet Tobi, yeah! Tobi his is my sister." Tobi studied Dana then Deidara then Dana again.

"Wow! How cool is this! You can tell you two are related! Wow! Deidara, you know what it would be like if you were born a girl and Dana can see what she's be like if she were a guy in Akatsuki!" Tobi was delighted.

"That's what we said, yeah." Dana told him. And then the party preparation resumed.

34 minutes and one fabulously football ready apartment later

"Our first guests are arriving…who are those girls?" Sasori asked. Deidara, Itachi and Dana looked to see who was at the door.

"Oh, that's Miranda, Isadora, Sadine, and Michelle, yeah! Remember Sasori they came to our cookout one time, yeah." Deidara told him. Sasoir didn't remember but undoubtedly Itachi Deidara and Dana remembered them. Soon, Sumaya, Akane, Megan, and Adrianne arrived…again Sasori had no damn clue who they were but they were somehow connected with Dana. Actually, no one except Dana Deidara and Itachi knew any of these girls…but they would get to know them very fast.

"Hey! Everybody kick off is in 10 minutes! Come on get some cocktail wieners and get in front of the TV!" Kisame yelled. Never before had 17 people piled onto a couch in a 5 bedroom apartment and actually, Kakuzu had never been that close to a female before (let alone an attractive one) and so he was a little edgy. Let the game begin!

You all will love what craziness I have planned for the next chapter! Hint: expect lots of poor football knowledge yay!


	5. Chapter 5 Football for Dummies

"So what's a packer, yeah?" Dana immediately wanted to know after the kickoff.

"None of us are really completely sure." Kisame said watching the two teams run like hell toward each other.

"I love the lions! I so want them to win, seriously." Hidan said, of course Hidan had never before seen the lions play, but he had decided this anyway. It wasn't too long before Sasori's cocktail wieners and the chicken wings were served.

"You all did a nice job with this kitchen." One of the girls said.

"Thanks! I watch the interior design channel!" Tobi declared.

"Oh my god! Me too!" she answered him excitedly. The pizzas were also opened, besides this was a football party and what was pizza without beer? Ah yes, the evening would get very interesting very quickly.

"Hey! What the hell? They just gave that guy a flag on the play!" Zetsu screamed at the TV.

"What a flag play, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"It's like a penalty." Zetsu answered him. Meanwhile, Itachi was once again trying to work Dana over.

"You know Dana, you can sit on my lap to watch the game." Itachi told her. Dana rolled her eyes.

"Why so you can molest me, yeah?" Dana asked. Itachi glared.

"Woooo! Green Bay just scored!" Sasori yelled. He was already halfway through his first beer.

"Now you and I have different definitions of…score…so can you clarify for me?" Itachi asked Sasori.

"Hey do you want some pizza?" Zetsu asked Megan.

"I don't eat pizza." She answered. Zetsu looked a little shocked.

"Do you want a beer?"

"I don't drink beer either." She said.

"You know you're not really our kind of people. You're going to have to go." And so Zetsu saw Megan to the door.

"THROWDOWN! YEAH!" Deidara and Dana both yelled at the TV. Sasori seriously thought about pounding his head into a wall.

"IT'S CALLED A TOUCHDOWN! YOU IDIOT! Not you Dana. BUT YOU! YOU STUPID MORON! IT'S A TOUCHDOWN! A TOUCHDOWN!" Sasori screamed at Deidara. Deidara thought he was going to swell up in tears, until Sumaya ( who had just gotten back from India) consoled him. It should be made known that Sumaya and Deidara had a history together, Deidara had something that once belonged to Sumaya…her virginity; they had been pretty good friends ever since that night…

"So, really, why would they call it GREEN bay? It's obviously not green! And the lions? There are no lions in Detroit, Michigan I know! My cousin lives there! What's up with that really?" Hidan asked Kisame as they ate chicken wings and cocktail wieners.

"I think it's the same reason they call them the Oakland Raiders even though Pirates didn't come from California." Kisame thought this seemed logical.

"Seriously, is a Raider a pirate?" Hidan asked.

"I don't know." Kisame answered.

"Oh my god, I can so never open these bottles, yeah." Dana said.

"Dana, I have mouths in my hands…I can open it, yeah." Deidara told her.

"Hey Sasori." Adrianne said sitting down beside him with a plate of pizza.

"Hey, I'm glad you came tonight, I haven't seen you in a while." Sasori said. In case you're wondering Sasori and Adrianne had a history (Adrianne and Sumaya were friends) as well. He taught Adrianne how to do something she had never done before… And so their conversation continued.

"So Tobi, you're telling me that you learned how to do this stunning abstract candle design with the varying levels of candle holders on the interior design channel?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yes! I did." Tobi said.

"We have got to start watching that channel together, imagine what we could do with Zetsu's master bathroom!" Kakuzu said. And so the two of them began imagining textured paint surfaces and new tile.

"Sumaya! Do you like chicken wings, yeah?" Deidara had his million dollar smile plasted across his face.

"I love chicken wings!" She answered. She was already a little drunk, after all she only weighed 113 pounds and she had already had one beer.

"Come here! We'll eat some off this plate, yeah. Itachi says I'm not allowed to take chicken wings into the living room anymore. Apparently I'm too messy, yeah." And so Deidara and Sumaya laughed like idiots. Well, it was obvious things were getting drunker.


	6. Chapter 6 The Drunks and the Visitors

Hey everybody! I'm sorry that I'm slower getting updates posted. It's only the beginning of school and I'm already swamped. But I'm promise I'll update on a continuous basis. Enjoy!

"Hidan, god! Shut up! Would you quit praying that the Lions win! You piss me off all the time!" Kakuzu was ranting and it was a drunk rant so it was all the more enjoyable. Both Hidan and Kakuzu were Lions' Fans. Kisame was all about Green Bay. Itachi and Deidara…well…they liked the concept of coordinated colors for team uniforms. It was obvious that Sasori was in to his Packers, Tobi just didn't get football so he didn't have an opinion and Zetsu seemed to favor Detroit. As for the girls, well Dana wanted to be with her brother so she didn't really care who won. There was at least one Packers fan and one Lions fan in the bunch, but the other girls were too busy complementing Tobi on his interior design skills.

There was a knock at the door. The drunk Akatsukis assumed it was a neighbor complaining about noise again, but a very drunk Itachi answered the door…not a good idea."What the fuck? What are you two stupid asses doing here?" It was Sasuke and Kabuto…those good for nothing football fans.

"Itachi. I see you all are having a football party." Kabuto calmly said. He was wearing his Lions jersey and it was way too big for him, he looked stupid (of course according to Itachi he always looked stupid).

"Yeah, no one invited you….OR YOU! Sasuke! God! Don't wear football fan wear, god you look so stupid!" Itachi hissed at Sasuke. Sasuke was wearing a 'Go Detroit' t-shirt. Now, Itachi being the drunk that he was, didn't have the best judgment right now…he needed the help of his other drunk sexy friend.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here, yeah. No one invited you and you don't know anything about soccer, yeah." Dediara said flinging an arm around Itachi's shoulders so they could lean on each other. They had both had way too much to drink (which for those lightweights was 2 beers, it was the one time weighing less than 150 pounds bit them in the ass).

"We're not even watching soccer!" Itachi snapped at Deidara.

"I know Itachi! We're watching the Packers and the Lions, yeah. I'm just saying that they don't know anything about soccer, yeah." Deidara said, he was weaving slightly back and forth.

"Oh, well you two are so not welcome here!" Itachi said. "Sasuke! The girls here are too old for you anyway!" Deidara laughed wildly.

"Yeah, what are you….10, 11?" Dediara asked nearly knocking Itachi over.

"I'm 16!" Sasuke yelled, he was pissed.

"Well, in that t-shirt….you look 10, yeah." Itachi and Deidara were now both laughing like morons until they collapsed on each other in the floor…Itachi asked Zetsu for another beer. Finally Kabuto and Sasuke got pissed and left.

"Oh my god, like I know, yeah. Me and Deidara so thought that buffalo wings meant like wings from a buffalo, yeah. Then we like learned that buffalos didn't have wings and that buffalos didn't taste like chicken, yeah. I mean that's just as confusing as angel food cake, yeah."

"What's confusing about angel food cake, really?" hidan was having such an intriguing conversation with Dana. She was on her way to being pretty drunk.

"Well, who would take food away from angels to make cakes, yeah? That's just like so mean!"

"Hmmm…" Hidan thought a moment.

"Sounds like you and Deidara had an intriguing childhood, seriously." Hidan said."Oh my god, you know those things that hang above cribs for babies to look at and stuff, yeah."

"Yes." Hidan answered.

"Oh, that thing confused the hell out of me and Dediara….but especially him, yeah."

"What? You stupid Ref! You don't have a clue what you're doing!" Sasori was yelling at the TV. He had Adrianne pretty much attached to his hip and he liked it that way. Zetsu was also into the game and Kakuzu was still terrified of all the girls at this party, he just wasn't good with women. Itachi and Deidara had finally recovered from the laughing episode. However, Deidara and Sumaya had now disappeared down the hall in yet another fit of laughter.

"God! The score is 15 – 23! Come on Green Bay!" Kisame screamed. By this point there wasn't a sober person in the room. Ah, the joys of football.


	7. Chapter 7 Bird in the Living Room

Hey! Sorry it's taking me more time to update. I am pretty swamped with my schoolwork.

No one had any idea who won that the game that night (too much alcohol). Some of the guests stayed the night (Adrianne, Sumaya, Dana) and the rest left. The next morning when Sasori awoke….he truly thought about leaving Akatsuki for good.

"Oh….my….god….that fucking moron! Oh my god, he's going to die…today Deidara dies!" Sasori said to no one really, most people were still asleep. However, in the middle of the living room was a very large feather (well clay feather) shedding chocobo (the big bird Deidara rides). She was chirping and Sasori was irate. He stormed down the hall to Itachi and Deidara's door.

He banged on it loudly. "Deidara! I don't care who's on top who's on the bottom, I don't care if you are naked! Get the hell out here and get this damn bird out of the living room!" Sasori shouted through the door. There was no answer from behind the door. "Deidara!" Sasori yelled again.

"Deidara." Sumaya yawned. "Do you hear something?" she asked half asleep. She was all cuddled up beside Deidara, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Hmmm?" Deidara was mostly asleep and slightly hung over.

"DEIDARA!" Sasori was getting more than pissed. The giant bird was chirping and walking around the living room leaving clay feathers everywhere. Kisame was awakened by Sasori pounding. He walked into the living room.

"Oh god, what's with the giant bird doing in here/" Kisame asked.

"Sumaya…do you hear pounding, yeah?" Deidara asked. Finally, he came to his senses and realized there was pounding at the door. Why Itachi didn't wake up and kill Sasori was a mystery. Sasori heard lots of stumbling and Deidara appeared wrapped up in a sheet (a Calvin Klein sheet).

"What's wrong Danna, yeah?" Deidara yawned again, his hair was tossed everywhere, it was obvious what he did the night before. Sasori glared like he had never glared before.

"There's a problem in the living room….go fix it….NOW!" Sasori left Deidara to tend to the problem. Hidan had rolled out of bed and was making some sort of breakfast; he was an excellent breakfast cook.

"Awwww, look at you, look at you, yeah." Deidara spoke sweetly to the giant bird and stroked the feathers.

"Oh god…damn bird…" Zetsu had just entered the living room, only to find it occupied by a very large bird.

"Awww, that's my girl, yes it is, awwwww, yeah. Now, let's go, come on, out the door, yeah. Out the door." Deidara shoved the giant bird out the door as she chirped some more. Of course when she popped out the door, feathers flew everywhere. It was this moment that Deidara realized Dana was no where to be found.

"Where's Dana, yeah?" Deidara asked, who was heading back to bed.

"I don't know, Itachi was trying to make out with her after you and Sumaya disappeared." Kisame said. Sasori had gone back to bed with Adrianne. And so Deidara headed back to bed with the sheet….however once he entered the room….the screaming started.

"God! Does it never end!" Zetsu complained. Deidara's screaming woke Dana, who was in Itachi's bed, Dana woke and she was confused at first, but then she saw who she was in bed with and she was screaming. This woke Itachi and he was just pissed. However, it was discovered that she didn't sleep with Itachi, she had gotten pretty damn drunk with him and she fell asleep there. Deidara was relieved…Itachi was disappointed.

And so, the football party had been a hit, even though no one was completely certain who had won. Hidan's breakfast was soon complete and he was ready to serve his sausage, egg and cheese biscuits. Ah, yes. Never a dull moment in the Akatsuki apartment. Until we check in later….

Okay, this is the part where I announce the next story: Akatsuki Bowling Team. Expect…well do we ever know what t expect? I'll try to post the first chapter soon.


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